How many sedatives to get through this rain, it’s like the sky learned how to shoot mortars onto my day,
How to keep moving? keep moving. meonflux.
How I survive? No idea.
How I love. With everything I have and more.
My birthday, in the midst of this rain and wind and this gray, oppressive sky, it’s just so HAPPY.
BUT, things are going where they should like lego blocks and I refuse to let go or settle for form like metal or rocks so appreciate the strength of a man beat viciously by his plans that can rise up and spit in his own soul, rip out the extraneous scams and heal my scars, let the stars go past me around and around like carrousels whirling, dizzy but standing, no more of this, I AM DEMANDING MORE, more life, more me, more words that make me the person I want to be – I refuse to let anything else dictate how Alex will be be, because I will be free as a bird, one flying in the air a dove a sparrow with wings that lift me into turbulence – past hurt, past pain, past regret, I’ll find myself in this moment of sorrow but the melancholy is what the doctor ordered to get me past myself, past this wreck, so I can write and bless.
I love all of you.